Loves

I recently just finished The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis and I must say it is a good read. It seems that every one of his books is a good read and I do not say this lightly. He just gets it. He realizes this life is not about him or anything else, it is about God. I guess what I am saying is C.S. Lewis knew about priorities, or observed the effects of priorities in life. And that is what The Four Loves is all about, priorities.

The Four Loves are Affection, Friendship, Eros, and Charity. From the way Lewis describes the first three he implies they are lesser loves to Charity. I thought Charity was an odd way to describe a very important love, but the more I thought about it the more it made sense. Charity in a sense is love in it's purest form: selflessness. Lewis references Matthew 22:37 in saying that Charity is the love towards God and through God love towards our fellow man. Charity does not care for the desires of oneself but the desires of God. And so it makes sense to call it Charity since this love is a "gift-love" (according to Lewis). We give of ourselves out of our love for God. I've always known this and I expected Lewis to reference this very verse, mostly because Christ said it was the most important of all commandments. So why not the most important of all the loves as well? But it still fascinates me that such a phenomenon can occur in the human spirit. It surely is proof of divine love since most of our loves end in divorce, fights, and arguments.

Since Charity is most important (and quite obviously holy) it would only make sense that the other three loves are less. The question to why they are less can only be answered by how much we do or do not allow God to reign in our loves. Either way the formula calls for Charity or they will become demons or disappear into nothing without it. These lesser loves are what I wanted to discuss. I have felt these loves turn into God, demons, or nothing at one time. Each new love was another responsibility. Lewis described three but I have only experienced two so far. I expect when I finally experience Eros I will be most challenged to make God the god of all my loves. It feels difficult now, and I can only imagine the increase in difficulty here on. However, I am not going to speak about what will be, but what has been so I may learn from my mistakes. Affection and Friendship are the only two loves I know. How I have let these die and become demons makes me sick. Though, subtly it all happened and I assume this is why I am at where I am now because of my dependency on friendship instead of God. My friendships did have Charity in it at one time, and those times were some of the best relationships I have ever had. However, the moment I ignored Charity was the moment my friendships began to fail. This is how I know for a fact Lewis is speaking the truth. I am driven by pain, and this can cause me to be afraid to expose myself again. But the question arises: "Does nothing at all compare to some pain and the reward of goodness?" The answer is simply "no". These loves are a blessing from God, but like the rest of creation it is not good unless the Creator shapes it Himself.