Christian

Here is something I've been pondering for a long time: What does it mean to be Christian? I know the Sunday school answer, but the real answer cannot be so simple. It shifts as though it is living. On a basic level (which would encompass all Christians) we simply acknowledge Christ as our savior, and in many ways as we mature we must never forget this fundamental level. However, this is where I see many Christians stop. The next is to act upon our love for Christ or let His love act for us (it seems to be both at times). The problem with observing this "level" is the complexity of it. How much of ourselves should we truly give? I have the problem of hanging on to certain habits I think are "ok". This is the very essence of an American Christian, and this is why we have a hard time "giving all to God" so-to-speak. We are like the rich young man who wanted to be a disciple of Jesus, but couldn't give up his wealth. To be honest this is the dilemma I've seen in my church for several years now. This is why I question the definition of a Christian.

Whenever I have a question about how we should act I go to scripture. Jesus makes it quite clear "Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." Jesus says "life"... I'm no expert interpreter but I am pretty sure that means all of your life. The early church gave all of themselves to each other. They "shared" everything they had. They were a family. We experience this when we go on mission trips to places "less fortunate" than ours. The people are truly happy because they give all of themselves to each other and to God. I love and I want that. Why don't we really do that?

Christmas Time

I love this time of the year! Sometimes I feel like the only one who feels that mostly because the people I talk to are tired of the over-commercialized holiday or don't celebrate it. As a kid it was better than my birthday because it was mysterious and I got more presents, but all materialism aside I really did love the story behind it. As I become older and more knowledgeable I find out Santa Claus was only a saint in the Byzantine Empire who gave dowry gifts to young women so they would not become prostitutes. I'm not bashing his cause I think it was great, but where did we get off making this holiday mostly about him? Another disturbing question that arises is I'm not really sure of the exact date of the birth of Christ (not that it really matters). I've heard many different interesting points, but I will come back to what is important: Jesus was born and we celebrate it just like we take communion to remember His sacrifice. If I can get anything out of Christmas this year it is that God gave His boy for us as a gift. That kind of gift is not cheap. In the same way my family does not have much this year and neither do I. It is opposite of my childhood Christmas days, but really this is what Christ was all about: Giving a costly gift to those that you love. I really want to do that this Christmas.

Habit

This is going to be a short blog to satisfy my thoughts for a short while. I am disappointed I have not been writing as much as I'd like, and it feels like in some small way it affects me negatively. For few of you who read this you probably think that is odd and to tell you the truth so do I. You see I have no close friends. I feel as if I can't release my frustrations/thoughts/worries and it bottles up in a sense. I know I sound like some kind of recluse and I probably am. Although, I don't want to replace this blog with real human interaction. That was never my intention. I'm in a middle period in my life and as I've said before it is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I honestly hate it, but I would not have experienced God without all my pain. It's unfortunate and beautiful at the same time how struggles bring out the best in humanity.

My good habits have returned and I fully intend to keep them because those other abominations were bad company. And so, I come to my point. This blog is one of my good habits since it gives me a chance to solidify my thoughts to help myself and possibly help others get through this struggle called life. This is an open (and reluctant) invitation to keep me accountable to blog at least once a week (this sounds ridiculous). To talk about God I'm forced to reconcile which I do believe is a very good thing. Ugly things happen when I don't. Another good habit I love to have is this habit of just coming to God instead of waiting to be "good enough". It sounds elementary, but it is something I always had a hard time with. That is what happens when you are raised in church. The potential for that problem to return is very real and it revisited me this past week, hence the reason for this blog. I do realize though that this blog does really nothing for me, but it is God. He is the focus and the blog is the result. I believe it should always be this way.