Habit

This is going to be a short blog to satisfy my thoughts for a short while. I am disappointed I have not been writing as much as I'd like, and it feels like in some small way it affects me negatively. For few of you who read this you probably think that is odd and to tell you the truth so do I. You see I have no close friends. I feel as if I can't release my frustrations/thoughts/worries and it bottles up in a sense. I know I sound like some kind of recluse and I probably am. Although, I don't want to replace this blog with real human interaction. That was never my intention. I'm in a middle period in my life and as I've said before it is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I honestly hate it, but I would not have experienced God without all my pain. It's unfortunate and beautiful at the same time how struggles bring out the best in humanity.

My good habits have returned and I fully intend to keep them because those other abominations were bad company. And so, I come to my point. This blog is one of my good habits since it gives me a chance to solidify my thoughts to help myself and possibly help others get through this struggle called life. This is an open (and reluctant) invitation to keep me accountable to blog at least once a week (this sounds ridiculous). To talk about God I'm forced to reconcile which I do believe is a very good thing. Ugly things happen when I don't. Another good habit I love to have is this habit of just coming to God instead of waiting to be "good enough". It sounds elementary, but it is something I always had a hard time with. That is what happens when you are raised in church. The potential for that problem to return is very real and it revisited me this past week, hence the reason for this blog. I do realize though that this blog does really nothing for me, but it is God. He is the focus and the blog is the result. I believe it should always be this way.